


All Of The Stars

by Semi_problematic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, cancer au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 12:42:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10386894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: AU where Philip has cancer.





	

"You're wasting your life in here." Philip mumbled, looking down at his boyfriend.

Lukas looked up at him, almost looking offended. "What?" 

"You've been in here every day after school for months. You've spend weekends here. It's not worth it." Philip looked down at their hands.

"You're worth it." Lukas lifted his hand, kissing Philips knuckles. "And this isn't some chore. I'm spending time with my boyfriend. It's like, a daily date."

"Yeah, it's so romantic to watch me throw up and slowly die."

Lukas slapped his arm. "Don't talk about that."

They never talked about it. The fact that Philips days were numbered and the numbers were dwindling. Lukas couldn't do it. Couldn't listen to Philip talk as if he was already dead. Miracles happen daily, one is bound to happen to them. 

Philip sighed, sitting up. "We have to talk about it eventually.."

"We don't, you're going to get better."

"They've set a date."

Lukas froze. "What?" 

"They told me and Helen and Gabe a few days ago that I'll most likely die within the next month."

"No." Philip couldn't be serious. They were gonna go to prom, have kids, have a house and pets and come home to each other. Philip is only 17, they've barely had a year together, this can't be happening.

"Lukas.." Philip trailed off, cupping his boyfriends cheeks. "Come here." 

Like that, Lukas was climbing into Philips bed, pressing as close as he could without hurting Philip. They did this every day for the past 7 months, Lukas didn't know why it suddenly felt different, maybe it was because he felt like he was drowning. Helpless. Philip was dying and there isn't anything he can do about it.

Lukas didn't even notice he was crying until he felt Philip stroking his hair and whispering words of comfort to him.

Five minutes passed before Lukas forced out a laugh.

"What?" 

"You're comforting me."

"And?" Philip raised his eyebrows. How was he so calm about this? He was dying, God, Philip was dying and Lukas couldn't do anything. If he feels helpless what does Philip feel like? 

"You're.. ya know.." Lukas couldn't say it. "But you're so calm.."

"I've known for a while."

"Yeah?"

Philip nodded, kissing his head. "It's one of those, your body knows before any test can." 

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Lukas leaned up, kissing him, cupping his cheeks. Philip kissed back, gripping onto Lukas' shirt. 

"I love you, Philip."

Philip smiled and that's when Lukas noticed the tears in his eyes. Philip was so strong, he was dying, and he was holding back tears to comfort Lukas. He must be an angel, that's the only way he can do this.

"I know, Lukas." Philip kissed his forehead, holding Lukas close, Lukas pressing his face to Philips neck, taking in his scent. No matter how long Philip was in the hospital he always smelled like Philip. Which was good, comforting, and so selfish that Lukas wanted comforting when Philip was dying. It wasn't real. It couldn't be.

They laid there silently for a few more moments before Philip spoke again.

"You'll move on, right?"

"No." Lukas replied almost immediately.

"Lukas-"

"No, I'm not moving on, I'm in love with you, I love you."

"Lukas, baby, waiting won't bring me back."

Lukas knew he was right, they both knew. "I'm not moving on."

"You're only 17, almost 18, you've got your whole life-"

"A life I wanted to spend with you.."

"A life you can't spend with me.." 

Lukas shook his head, looking up at Philip. "No."

"Lukas, just listen to me.."

Lukas closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, nodding.

"You'll graduate, you'll go to college or become the most famous motocross rider ever.."

Lukas smiled through his tears and so did Philip.

"You'll meet a really handsome, nice guy, who can give you the world and then some because that's what you deserve.." Philip played with his hair. "And you'll get married and have kids and life together and be happy, you'll be happy and you'll live your life.." 

Lukas shook his head.

"Life goes on, Lukas.."

"Philip.."

"Promise me you'll move on."

Lukas stared at him and Philip sighed.

"Promise me you'll try to move on and be happy." Philip mumbled, rubbing his hand up and down Lukas' arm. 

Lukas swallowed, looking up at Philip. He could try for Philip, it's the least he could do for the boy who gave color and meaning to his world. "Okay, I'll try."

And with that, Philip smiled.

 

6 Months Later 

 

Lukas walked through the grass, clinging to the bouquet of flowers in his hands. They were sunflowers, Philips favorite. For some reason he loved the color yellow. Lukas took a deep breath. For some reason Philip loved him. Two mysteries.

Miracles do happen, Lukas thought as he stepped through the gate, just not to him. They only happen in movies and TV shows and to people that don't deserve it. If anyone deserved a miracle it was Philip. Why he didn't get one was a third mystery in itself. 

Lukas sat down, smiling a little. "Hi, Philip, I'm sorry it's been a while, there was this huge snow storm and I couldn't get out." He placed the flowers over the slab of stone with Philips name etched into it. "You'd be mad.." He rubbed the back of his neck. "But you'd forgive me, you always forgave me for some unknown reason.."  

Lukas looked up at the sky, blinking his eyes, trying to hold back the tears. "You'd be mad at me for turning down every date I've been offered, but I can't help it. No one can replace you.."  
Lukas traced the letters of Philips name on the stone. "And I know you'd say something deep and meaningful like, 'they shouldn't replace me, they should be different, and better', but the truth is Philip, no one's better. No ones made me feel anything. I kissed a guy at a race and.. I felt dirty, like I was cheating on you.."

The wind blew roughly and Lukas liked to think it was Philip yelling at him. He'd take Philip yelling at him and being here than sitting in a graveyard with just himself and the silence.

"I've been winning a lot.." Lukas took a deep breath. "I wanna make you proud, I hope you're watching me from up there.. maybe making bets with.." Lukas breath hitched and he wiped his eyes. "Bets with my mom.." 

Lukas licked his lips, pulling his jacket closer to him. He didn't think it would be this cold.

"Hopefully you avoided telling her all the shitty stories about me, I like to think you told her about our dates.. and how we met.. and how I completely planned the entire thing.." Lukas laughed, his tears hitting the cold stone.

"I miss you, Philip, and I still love you, and it's weird because even though I don't see you every day, in real life, I still see you. I see you in the things you loved.. like photography and animals.. and I like to think motocross.." Lukas was really crying now, not silently either, he was gasping and he was drowning again. Come to think of it, Lukas hadn't really stopped drowning since Philip told him he was dying. 

Lukas wiped his eyes, wiping his hand over the stone, smiling. "I love you, baby, I have to go now." And with that Lukas stood up.

The wind blew again, softer this time, and Lukas thinks it was a silent 'I love you, too.'


End file.
